In the matter of the group chat

COURT

The Bench of Steve & Julian — est. c.2005 — reconvened 2026

The court is in recess.

The hat

Submissions are anonymous. The court never learns, and never records, who put a charge in the hat. Choose your words carefully; the bench has sentenced people for wasting its time.

The accused
The charge — quote them where possible, with date

Rulings of the reconvened court

Fetching the record…